emotions are dumb/no wait kissing!

28 04 2009

it’s experiment time.  experimentation time?  whatever dude.

i have been busy writing something interesting for a few days, but i decided i should hop on here and feed the monkey a little more today.  you like drivel, right?

so the experiment is born of this:  i started writing about 30 minutes ago, and i was writing about how people take their emotional content to be the gospel truth of a situation, and in doing so, they only strengthen their (usually somewhat baseless) belief in emotional reaction.  that is, when something happens, people love to take how they feel as their indicator as to the value of the event.  it’s a thoughtless act.  a pointless act.  this is why there is something called perspective. we’ve all been overtaken by our emotions, and as bad or good as that moment is, we all know that after some time, we feel differently about the situation.  anyway, i digress.  i was whipping out example after example, proving the HELL out of the point that emotion has its place, but it’s unbelievably overemphasized by people.

after a while, i realized i was just kind of having fun being a crotchety old man, which is not having fun at all.  i was blogbitching, preaching, prattling, plernverding (don’t look up that awkward word.  i was making sure the spellcheck was working… and it isn’t, so the word stays).  so it started to sound like sour grapes to me, and that’s not what i want to offer to you four nice people.

experiment:  can i spontaneously write about something light or happy on the fly, when obviously the evening suits itself in black pajamas?  it’s mental jujitsu to be sure, and i’m not as flexible as i was when i was a young man, but i’m game.  a few days ago i was thinking about kissing and how i liked kissing in general, so that is my topic.  to do it justice, i shall try.

kissing!

do you like kissing?  i do!  you may too–people generally do, i think.  but have you ever turned down a kiss?  i have too!  but if it’s kind of awesome to kiss someone, why wouldn’t you want to do it whenever the opportunity presented itself?  it must not be simple, because i can think of some very attractive ladies i declined to kiss (no regret?).  oh–i like kissing ladies better than guys. don’t ask me why.  i didn’t really choose.  if you prefer one or the other, you can keep your preference in mind while considering.

as a person, i have to say that i don’t remember spending much time thinking about why i wanted to kiss.  it was a compulsion, in a way.  it was something i wanted to do but didn’t have sound reasoning to back it up.  lucky for some of my high school classmates, the lack of a foundation for kiss-want didn’t keep me from the game.  okay, that’s enough of my wanton jackassing about for this post (probably).

i have turned down kissings for many different reasons.  attractiveness, sure.  attraction (different), yes.  location (church makes me feel gross).  once my great aunt was watching from a window.  i actually heard her say “ooooh, dougie’s out there with a girl!”  i mean, the window was open.

which is all to say that a good kiss requires (for me at least) good circumstances, a nice, easy way… a good moment.  because that’s what a good kiss is all about.  it’s a moment.

it reminds me of the best kissings of all–my favorite kissings.  the moment builds slowly because you’ve been hanging out with someone you wouldn’t not kiss for a while.  it’s been a light, jovial day/evening.  there’s laughing, usually the result of making fun of someone’s clothing or inability to know how ridiculous they are, like the time some girl told me very dramatically to “take a long walk off a short pier!”  there’s the cursory eye contact, and the moment after when your smiles simultaneously shift from being about the joking to the realization that you’re in a really nice spot with someone you’d like to kiss maybe.  as soon as that realization happens, you both glance back, and you’re both still smiling, and you slowly begin to each cover your teeth with your lips–you shift them a little to try to moisten them a bit (not too much!).  your eyes get to communicate then that you both recognize that the pause is silly, but necessary, and you’re both thinking the same thing, and it’s making you both happy to think about it.  from one of you will escape a barely audible increase in exhalation and perhaps you both then nod your heads forward, ever subtly supplying the momentum to the kiss.  and you’ve both registered your impending collision, so the shoulders can come, too, and your eyes close…. your eyes close because they’ve done their work, and finally, all four other senses get to have their part in the moment.

and that’s what makes a kiss so great–you are both 100% invested in precisely the same moment, in precisely the same activity, for precisely the same purpose.  you don’t find synchronicity like that with a person in any other circumstance–it’s a positive singularity in the workings of the universe, and you’re there to experience it, and you get to have someone else with whom to experience it.  you crack your eyelids just a little to see it from beyond the immersion.  to bring you back just a bit.  it’s an amazing event, one you can never be sure you’ll again encounter.

but you’re not thinking about that.  you’re not thinking about anything.  you’re just there, using all five of your worldly senses in a single moment of nice.
well, i changed the tone, i guess.  but i got a little sappy.  points off.  lots of points.  i think i’ve upset myself, actually.  i got a little caught up in the moment, and, to be frank, there’s a girl i will probably never kiss that i was thinking about kissing, so i cloyed unrepentantly.  just to be clear, the reason i’ll probably never kiss here isn’t sinister.  it’s not a family member or anything.  just a girl i have thought would be nice to kiss is all.

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4 responses

28 04 2009
Jackie

Picture me coming into my office first thing in the morning. I sit down and of course turn to my google reader (because who does work when they first arrive at work! who, sir, who?!) and I start reading this. I get to this part:

“so it started to sound like sour grapes to me, and that’s not what i want to offer to you four nice people.”

I LOLed (that’s internet speak for “laugh out loud”). I LOL at various points throughout the work day, and I imagine that this is good for the soul and all (my soul), but I think it probably makes my very quiet officemate who is a poet hate me.

30 04 2009
pletch

thank goodness this post had an LOL moment, as the rest of it makes me a little nauseated. this “google reader” sounds intriguing, though. what does it think of your officemate’s poetry??

29 04 2009
Mr. Allyson

This makes me think of this. And this!

30 04 2009
pletch

this and this are quite good (and I hope that KV scored Jill with that line initially. i really do). i would just like to point out again that really, i only intended to tout kissing’s superiority because of its inclusion, and sometimes overwhelming, of every human sense. it’s a fine activity sometimes! i now condemn embarrassing post forever to the oubliette of the past pls k thx

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