more on pace and culture

20 05 2008

what’s funny about being a person who tries to be mindful is how difficult it is to break personal dogma, even when reason and intuition both safely and surely lead you to a conclusion contrary to your belief or habit. if that is too wordy, then how come when you know you’re doing something dumb, it’s still hard to stop doing it, just because you’ve been doing it for so long?

it’s not that simple, i guess. there is also a societal norm that the mindful person is up against. breaking habit is one thing, but making a change to something that flies in the face of conventional societal wisdom is quite another. you’re not fighting only your own dogma, but everyone else’s as well. simple conversations become inquisitions. someone might very well decide not to do something they feel is right just to avoid the annoyance to having to explain, unsatisfactorily, their actions to dozens of people. doing what’s right (to one) is often a lonely path, i suppose, and frustrating as such. we’re a social species. we don’t often want to go it alone.

i know i don’t. but it seems like the more i consider my society and my place in it, the less likely a “fit” seems. i don’t mean a “fit” like a sudden, acute attack or manifestation of a disease, especially one marked by convulsions or unconsciousness. that’s actually pretty likely. i mean as if adapted or suited; appropriate. i have a pretty hard time seeing myself fulfilled and satisfied. and when i mention this to people, everyone wants to know one thing: what kind of society would suit me, if this one doesn’t?

what an infuriating question! one where everyone thought and behaved as either i do or as i respect and admire. obviously!

if that’s not descriptive enough, i suppose i can be more specific.  i want to be somewhere where everyone is accountable for their actions, and happy to be so.  the community would need to be small enough and the pace of life more natural and stable enough so that there would be less opportunity to pull things off, i guess.  there need be no gestapo; just a smaller number of mindful people, interacting and at least a little personally knowledgeable of one another.  i guess that gives away my requirement of a certain quality of person.  a group who’s coming to or has come to the conclusion that all that glitters is probably sprayed with glitter comprised of new, unpredictable and under-understood chemicals and comes recommended by phonies who are told how to recommend by men and women in suits who have hired people to study psychology and report to scriptwriters what kinds of thing a naturally insecure human needs to hear that a product will do for them.  people who understand that the compartments that the current culture beckons us all into will eventually truly crush their creative flexibility and ability to function outside of that system.

mainly, people who can help me out of that system, as i am concerned that it may be getting too late for me.

a nice, non-frenetic pace where a goal considered is a goal that is relatively easily pursued and less likely to be forgotten in the face of any manner of junk that comes flying at your brain.  for though i love me some technology, it’s not being utilized for as much good as i’d prefer.




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