spontaneous vacation rambling

9 05 2008

I’ve taken this entire week off of work. I had hoped to take a little time in these next few weeks and do a little hiking, but an indomitable back injury has kept me unable to do much for the past three weeks. So I decided to lie on my back and do nothing until the sucker felt better. It took most of this week, but it’s feeling pretty decently now, and today I was even able to take care of a couple of annoying errands that had been hanging over my head for a few weeks. Huzzah!
why am i capitalizing again?
as the week began, i felt shiftless, like i wanted to get things done but couldn’t let myself break my convelescence… i felt wasteful. i just don’t let idle time go by without taking care of things that need it. my room got messier, my floor needed vacuuming, my tennis racquet needing using. but i stayed true to my aim, and accomplished next to nothing.
halfway through the week, i started getting confused about the whole thing. i began to genuinely care less about my tasks. i think i even stopped recognizing a few things that needed attention, but that’s anyone’s postulation. i worried that i was forgetting why it was important to me to stay on top of things. i started playing more video games and made a little ice cream. i went to REI and bought some camping stuff.
tonight, i was playing mario kart when i glanced at the clock and realized that it was 12:34. it’s been 12:34 a bunch for me this week, and each night i’ve been naturally going to bed later and waking up later in turn. at first i wondered if it was just my nature to have a schedule thusly shifted, but nothing else really felt normal or right about my dailies, so i figured i was just loosening up a bit and would get back to normal next week.
and i probably will. but normal? at 12:34, i used to always watch conan o’brien. he made me laugh all the dang time. i switched off mario kart and checked him out for the first time in at least 5 years. and i laughed outloud about 7 times in the first 15 minutes.
he was funny. it was my kind of humor again. i began to realize that my work schedule was the imposter. druthers had, i’d be a 10 am waker and a conan watcher. this was my natural manner. i honestly can’t remember laughing 7 times in a day for the past few years.
i still haven’t really processed this. will it convince me to rearrange myself? should it? it’s almost 2 am, and i’m actually tired. i’m going to sleep while listening to music–another thing i used to always do but haven’t in years.
gut reaction–growing up is bull shit. putting on someone else’s clothes can change you if you let it. growing up doesn’t have to be bull shit. you can change clothes, but the new outfit needs to be of your choosing. yes yes?




2 responses

11 05 2008

Welcome to my world. Growing up is a myth. The work-week hours were created by a sadist who thinks we should all function on the same schedule. As you have noted, we don’t. Define the world – don’t let it define you.

Be well…

12 05 2008
Mr. Allyson

At one point I remembered how much I’d liked weird schedules in college – staying up until 2 or 3, sleeping until 7 or 8, and then taking a nap in the afternoon to get me through until 2 or 3 again. I tried adjusting my schedule accordingly while working full time – I don’t really remember the results, I think it went okay and then I quit my job and got an already-more-weirder schedule (working part time, taking classes part time) but it’s definitely a lot harder to do with an office schedule.

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